stress reliever

Stress Reliever #1 Wife: "You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office". Why?" Hubby : "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at our picture and the problem disappears". Wife: "You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?" Hubby : "Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?" ______________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 2 Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles And lighten your burden. Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet. ____________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 3 Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to Give up my seat to a lady. Mom: Well, you have done the right thing. Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap. _______________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 4 Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of The night?" Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear." Wife to husband: "What? At 2 am?!" Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs." ______________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 5 Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card." Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents." _______________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 6 A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans".. "My father grows beans," said one student. "My father cooks beans," said another. Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans." _______________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 7 Interviewer to Millionaire: "To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire to?" Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife." Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you Married her?" Millionaire: "A Billionaire" _______________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 8 Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever. The guy replies: Thanks for the warning. _______________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 9 A husband was asked: Do you talk to your wife after sex? He replied: Depends, if I can find a phone. _______________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 10 Man to wife on wedding night: Are you sure I'm the first man you are sleeping with? Wife replied: Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others! _______________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 11 Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the U.S.? Answer: Because people started licking the wrong side. _______________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 12 A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me - my pretty face Or my sexy body? He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of humour. Stress Reliever # 13 Doctor to his lady patient: You look terribly weak and exhausted! Are You having your meals three times a day as I have advised? Lady replied: Doctor, I thought you said three males a day.